Helping Children Cope with Tragedy

National PTA Cites Communication as Key

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The tragic events that unfolded in New York and Washington, D.C. September 11, have affected parents, children, friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers. The unprecedented acts of violence are widespread and have affected an entire nation. Each one of us, though stunned by the tragic events, must make communicating with children a priority.

In order to provide parents with the tools they need to help children cope with disaster, National PTA is providing online information and resources on how to communicate with children as they begin to develop ideas about the world around them. "Helping Children Cope with Tragedy," a special section on National PTA's website, offers tips for parents on how to communicate with children, steps for holding a community forum, a guide for parents to discuss prejudice and discrimination, resources from National PTA and partner organizations, and links to bulletin boards that foster related discussions. As part of "Helping Children Cope with Tragedy," National PTA offers parents the following tips:

• Maintain your composure. Kids model behavior. They imitate emotional patterns, including grieving, of those around them.
• Reassure your children that they're safe.
• Keep to your normal routines. Children need a sense of stability.
• Talk about the tragedy in an age-appropriate manner. Tell children about your own feelings, but consider their age and maturity level and make sure not to overwhelm them. Be patient. It's common for children to ask the same questions about death and disaster over and over.
• Help children to express their feelings. If they don't know the words to say how they feel inside, try to help them put their feelings into words and/or find creative ways of communicating, such as through art, writing, or music.
• Listen. Ask questions. Find out what your children know about the situation. Make sure they understand the facts, and discuss what they've seen or heard, and what their friends and teachers are saying.
• Make yourself available. Your children may need extra attention from you. Make time for them.
• Explain that there are people who hate for different reasons, and that hatred is never acceptable.
• Give your children opportunities to express compassion and provide help for the victims of the disaster. Whether it's praying, donating their allowance to a relief fund, responding to clothing/food drives or other volunteer activities, or writing letters to the families of the victims, let children feel as though they're helping. And, let them see you help, too.
• Tell your children you love them, and offer plenty of hugs and kisses. Maintain a strong level of affection in your home to help children feel calm.

It is important for parents, teachers, and communities to unite to address children's feelings of confusion, anger, and vulnerability that have been triggered as a result of this tragedy. Fortunately, children are in the strongest position to overcome and be strengthened by the inevitable disasters of life.

"We extend our hearts and condolences to the families of those lost to us during this national tragedy. National PTA recognizes what a difficult and confusing time this is for families, especially children, across our great nation. We encourage parents and teachers to engage in dialogue with children and youth to assess their feelings and thoughts following this tragedy," said National PTA President Shirley Igo.

National PTA is the largest volunteer child advocacy organization in the United States. A not-for-profit association of parents, educators, students, and other citizens active in their schools and communities, PTA is a leader in reminding our nation of its obligations to children. PTA has nearly 6.5 million members working in 26,000 local chapters in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and in the Department of Defense schools in the Pacific and Europe. Since its founding in 1897, National PTA has prided itself in being a powerful voice for children, a relevant resource for parents, and a strong advocate for public education. Membership in National PTA is open to anyone who is concerned with the education, health, and welfare of children and youth.

For more information about National PTA visit http://www.pta.org or call 1-800-307-4PTA.

Date: Sept. 12, 2001