Tips For Shopping With Your Child

What To Do in the Store To Help Children Behave...Without Spanking, Hitting, Or Yelling.

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Anyone who has shopped at a grocery store or a mall with children, especially young children, knows the experience can sometimes be trying and highly stressful. Here are some steps that can change potential misery into potential mastery of shopping with kids.

Plan Ahead...

Explain the rules

Before entering the store make your expectations clear, such as "Stay close to me," "Use your quiet voice," and "No begging for candy."

Select a secret word or signal that you can both use to get the immediate attention of the other.

Role play at home in how to act at the store.

Agree on rewards for good behavior

Keep it simple such as a choice of a favorite snack or a stop at the park. Promise to read a story or play a game at home. "When we leave, you can select a package of gum if you remember the rules."

Pack a treat

Bring a nutritious snack for the child to eat during the shopping trip (raisins, cut up apples, nuts, etc.).

Bring a storybook for the child to look at. Keep a supply of little action figures or small manipulative toys handy.

Bring a favorite blanket, toy or book from home to help make the child feel secure. For a small child, tie a favorite soft toy to the handle of the shopping cart or stroller.

Bring a pad and pencil or magic markers for the child to use while you are shopping.

Check emotions

Is your child too tired or hungry to shop? Are you? If yes, postpone your trip or find a sitter for your child(ren).

Go when you are rested, as well as when the child is rested. Don't wait until the end of a tiring day.

At The Store

Make a game out of shopping

Who can see the bananas? Who can see the potatoes first? Do you remember what animal bacon comes from?

Let's count all the tennis shoes we see on people's feet. Let's see how many Bs you can find on signs. Let's guess how much something is going to cost.

Sing songs. Make up a silly one together about spinach or broccoli.

Play "I see something" - Then ask your child(ren) what it is. Give hints to challenge the imagination. Describe a food in the cart and have the children guess the food.

More Games

Discuss the pictures on the package - what you could make with this, etc. Let the child see how many things one can do with a certain item. (How many things one can do with a certain item. (How many things can you make out of tomato paste?)

Find five things on each aisle that start with the letter B, are red, are in cans, are for eating, are NOT for eating, etc.

Have the child help you name all the vegetables in the cart, all the meats, breads, fruits, milk products, etc.

Count how many steps it takes to get from the "Cheerios" to the "Frosted Flakes".

Do "quiet cheers" at the checkout stand, spelling each child's name (Give me an A (A), Give me an M (M), etc.)

While waiting in line, retell your child's favorite story having the child chime in on the verses he or she knows.

Give children some choices

When possible, allow your child(ren) to make some decisions. Blue or red socks? Chocolate or vanilla ice cream? Be prepared to bargain or compromise.

Give child a responsibility

Help select the hardest apples, find the cheapest greenbeans, match the coupons with the labels.

If the child is old enough, let him or her check the grocery list or see which fruit, cheese, etc. is the best bargain.

Praise your child

"You are being so helpful." A hug can be reassuring and say more than words at times. Reinforce appropriate behavior. Talk with the child, play and engage the child in the decision making process. Encourage the child to talk, watch, listen and think.

If All Else Fails...

Remember: Kids will be kids; they are not perfect. Of course, neither are we, but we are the adults.

Ignore inappropriate behavior unless it becomes dangerous, destructive, annoying to others, or truly embarrassing. Don't let the child think that you will allow him or her to misbehave in public.

Remove a child who is out of control. Take him or her to the restroom or out of the store. Tell the child quietly, eye-to-eye that the behavior is absolutely unacceptable.

Wait, saying nothing at all, for the child to calm down. Then ask if he or she is ready to try again.

Go home if the child cannot calm down. If the shopping cannot wait, find a sitter and return alone.

Tell the child you will have to leave him or her at home next time-then do it.

Don't ever buy the child a treat when he or she has thrown a fit.

Credits

Tips for Shopping With Your Child is adapted from materials developed by the Prevent Child Abuse, Virginia, SCAN/PA, Richmond, VA.