Building Self-Esteem

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Children with low self-esteem often feel like they're drowning ocean of inadequacy. This is the fourth in a series of articles based upon the workshop presented at our Conference by our past president, Pat Palmer.

A sure sign of low self-esteem is the child who says "I'm dumb," "I'm ugly,'' or who blames others for their mistakes. Both parents and teachers can help children overcome these negative self-images. Here are some suggestions:

Give the child responsibilities.

Self esteem grows when a child feels he makes a contribution.

Allow the child to make choices.

Can the child request time-out if he feels the need?

Show appreciation.

It's important to catch the child doing something right. Be generous with thanks and compliments, but be honest. A child knows when you are insincere.

Treat mistakes positively.

Children should know that mistakes are expected and are experiences to learn from. Correct them in a way that encourages: "You almost got it." "That was a good guess.

Role playing

This technique can explore alternatives to aggressive behavior, and help the children to understand the other person's feelings and actions. Use instant replay for planning the next time the child is faced with a similar problem.

Validate the child's feelings.

When she says something negative, acknowledge this with a response like, "I can see how unhappy you are. Let's figure out how to make things better."

Similarly, don't make light of a childhood trauma which may seem silly to you.

Tell the child he is brave and honest to admit his feelings. Show the children in your class that emotions are honest feelings, and how we deal with these feelings is the most important issue.

Help the children understand that happiness will return.