A Parent's Guide: Accessing Parent Groups

Part 3

Source

National Information Center
for Children and Youth with Disabilities

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How should the first meeting be handled?

Here are some suggestions to help your first meeting be a success.

• Get there early and be sure everything is set up as you want it.
  
  
• Be sure to put signs at the door directing people to the meeting room.
  
  
• Have a guest list for people to sign as they arrive. It is always helpful to have a mailing list of potential members. Even if all participants were invited, you may want to get phone numbers or other information. You might want to add one or two identifiers to this list, such as age of child, school child attends, disability of child, or whatever information may be useful in selecting future activities. Be sure guests understand that they are not signing up to be members or volunteering to do anything; this is an informational list only.
  
  
• Provide name tags. Guests may not know each other. There are many ways to personalize the tags. Guests could be asked to include information about their child or occupation on the tag. For example, a name tag might read, "Lucy Jones, Tom's mom at T.J." or "Betty Smith, 2nd grade teacher at Hillwood."
• When all guests have arrived, and you're ready to officially begin the meeting, you might find these suggestions helpful.
  
  
• If the audience is of an appropriate size, you may want to take a few minutes to have everyone give his/her name, age of child, disability of child, and/or school child attends. Professionals would introduce themselves by giving their name, profession, and school.
  
  
• Introduce the leaders of the group or candidates for officers, and any community leaders or school officials in attendance.
  
  
• Go through the items on your agenda. Don't rush, but keep the meeting moving.
  
  
• Set a time and place for the next meeting, and identify possible topics.
  
  
• Allow time for socializing and discussion. It's important for members to be able to talk to one another; it's also important not to let this aspect "take over" the meeting.
  
  
• End on time.
  
  

What should happen after the first meeting?

It's a good idea to send a notice to all those who signed your guest list, and let them know you're glad they came. In this letter, you may wish to:

• Give some information on the kind of people who were there, based on the information you collected. For example, you might be able to say that 80% of those attending were parents, over half of their children are under age 8, that most of the children are identified as developmentally delayed or mildly mentally retarded, and that the professionals who attended were all special education teachers at the elementary level.
  
  
• Reiterate any decisions that were reached at the meeting, certainly the name of the group, its officers, and the time and place of the next meeting.
  
  
• Describe any nominations or elections that are planned.
  
  
• Make requests for any needed help. Be specific about what is needed and how much time is involved.
  
  
• Provide a means for those who attended to make suggestions and recommend future agenda items.
  
  
• Be sure to let people know how to get in touch with you and other leaders.
  
  

What about future meetings and activities?

Be sure to communicate clearly with your membership. Ask from time to time whether members want to change the meeting place or time. Also ask about issues of concern to your members and for their ideas for speakers or topics of discussion. Encourage members to share their opinions and ideas, and to ask for information when they are in doubt about whatever is being discussed. Remember to debate the issues, not the persons who present them.

As your group becomes more established, there may be other questions to consider. Many possible questions are listed below. Although not all will be relevant to your group, this list may help the group decide upon future activities or directions.

• What are your group's long-term goals?
  
  
• What do your members want to learn more about?
  
  
• Do you want to offer or participate in training programs?
  
  
• Who will arrange for speakers or topics for the meetings?
  
  
• Who will contact members and advertise the meetings?
  
  
• Do you want people to be able to reach your group by phone? Whose number will they call?
  
  
• Do you need to provide child care at the meetings?
  
  
• Who will do this or arrange it?
  
  
• Will you provide refreshments at the meetings?
  
  
• How will you pay for this?
  
  
• Do you want to start and send out a newsletter?
  
  
• Who will write it? Type it? Mail it?
  
  
• How will you pay for the newsletter and postage?
  
  
• Will this work be done on a volunteer basis or will someone need to be hired?
  
  
• How much money do you think you'll need to carry out your plans?
  
  
• Do you plan to raise money and/or apply for funds?
  
  
• Will you need to make this a formal organization?
  
  
• Will you need to write by-laws?
  
  
• Do you need to apply to the IRS for tax exempt status? Do you need an auditor?
  
  
• Do you have someone with experience in organizing nonprofit groups to help formalize your group?
  
  

What if only a few close people show up for the meeting?

Don't confuse interest or effectiveness with numbers. Some topics only attract a small audience, but they may be of great interest and importance to those people. In general, more people will say they can attend than actually get there; there are many difficulties that may prevent people from attending, including childcare, illness, transportation, schedule conflicts, weather, or just plain exhaustion. Large attendance is not the key to success.

However, if attendance is regularly lower than the membership, there are several explanations. Some people join groups for reasons other than attending all the meetings. They may join to receive a newsletter, to be a part of a group that is working for the benefit of their child, or to attend only one or two meetings of special interest, or they may simply not have the energy to go back out at night even though they are impressed with the mission and work of the group.

You also should be careful to avoid scheduline meetings at busy times; consider experimenting with a variety of times and days, interspersing informational meetings with more social gatherings, and regularly surveying your membership for suggestions on meeting times, locations, and topics.

How do we keep up interest?

A group is made up of members who may have distinct ideas of what's interesting, needed, or convenient. Be sure to keep communications open, and try to elicit ideas and participation from all members. A group managed entirely by a few members runs the risk of not only overworking their leaders but also having no pool of upcoming leaders to carry on the work. Next year's success or even the continuation of your group will depend upon identifying new leaders and new volunteers and upon maintaining a sense of interest and commitment.

To keep your leaders from burning out, and to provide opportunities for new leadership, you may want to:

• Form committees to address different activities;
  
  
• Share and delegate the tasks to be performed;
  
  
• Have as many people actively involved as possible;
  
  
• Have one-time-only activities that members can choose from.
  
  

Many people cannot commit themselves to one more activity, but will certainly help out for an hour or two.

It is also useful to discuss your mission every year, and redirect it, if necessary. Schools change, communities change, your membership may change, and children are certainly always changing. What is important one year may not be a burning issue next year. Examining the mission of your group can play a critical role in assessing your successes, learning from your mistakes, identifying new goals and needs, redirecting your efforts, and maintaining and renewing members' interest in the group.

Some groups may form to address a specific goal, such as providing an accessible playground or establishing an information center. When this goal is accomplished, the group may choose to disband. That's okay, too.

Be sure to let NICHCY know about your group, so we can be part of the same network. Put us on your mailing list, and we will add your name to ours.

What about famlies who don't speak English?

There may be families in your community who are not fluent in English and who have children with disabilities. They, too, may be interested in the support available from other parents but may not be comfortable in an English-speaking group. In this case, a one-to-one friendship may be very helpful, in terms of both emotional support and information gathering. There are several other possibilities that can be considered, too.

Many people who do not speak English fluently may be able to read English quite well. For these people, newsletters or other publications may be of interest. If you're establishing a parent group or joining an existing group in your area where there are families who speak another language, you may wish to share your information with them. They may be interested in forming a parallel group, using some of the suggestions in this guide. It may be beneficial to all involved to arrange occasionally for translators so that both groups can share ideas and concerns, let each other know the issues being discussed in each group, or attend when special speakers are invited to either group's meeting. You both can also benefit through presenting a united voice in the decisions made in your community.

For members of your community who would benefit from either joining or forming a Spanish language parent group, this Parent's Guide is also available in Spanish. Contact NICHCY at 1-800-695-0285 for a copy.

Additional Resources Available from NICHCY

The following materials are available from NICHCY. They may be helpful to you in gaining a better understanding of the special education process, laws, and how to access services in your area. All of these materials are available free of charge. Information about other NICHCY publications is available by requesting a Publications List.

• A List of National Resources
  
  
• General Information about Disabilities
  
  
• Public Agencies Fact Sheet
  
  
• A List of Toll-free Numbers
  
  
• State Resource Sheets